You have no right to interfere in to anything. Just as bad as enough, you can continue finding your bloody girlfriends. You can continue gallivanting around finding little unholy skirts of the dark ally. You, treacherous, lecherous man of many bad vices. I despise you and you have no say in anything. You are not the old you, you have changed. Changed from a man I once respected with all my life, to a man I detest and despise. Gamble your life away with few sticks, dirty the whole place and expect people to serve you. No fucking rights, I say.
You guys had better stop fighting. Fuck. I can't wait to move out and not talk to you guys anymore. You guys meeting each other are the reason why I'm so fucking pissed every weeknight& weekend
Gatherings? Fuck them. What's a little gathering got to do with anything when you guys can't coordinate everybody. And start flaring. Fuck.
Why. Why do we appear happy on the outside. Why do we seem to have war inside. Why wars and battles and fights. Ugh.
Dizzy.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
_l_
I have had fucking two periods only and I am so fucking pissed off. Thank God it's chemistry next. Something to fucking cheer me up n forget the two periods I hate the most.
Fuck you and your next 18 generations.
Fuck you and your next 18 generations.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Horror.
I feel like a fucking tool. Useful when people need me. Chucked aside, useless.
I guess everyone has this feeling. I wonder how it feels like to be of an importance. Maybe I'll never get to feel this feeling. Hahahhahah.
I just need an affirmation, an affirmation from you. A fucking " you did me proud " would be good enough. Bloody four words. But sigh. Never good enough.
Works are all piling up. God knows his plans for me. But whatever it is, I'm not liking the process of his plans.
Goodbye.
I guess everyone has this feeling. I wonder how it feels like to be of an importance. Maybe I'll never get to feel this feeling. Hahahhahah.
I just need an affirmation, an affirmation from you. A fucking " you did me proud " would be good enough. Bloody four words. But sigh. Never good enough.
Works are all piling up. God knows his plans for me. But whatever it is, I'm not liking the process of his plans.
Goodbye.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
!?
Wasn't this all I've ever wanted? Haven't I always wanted this? Why is it that when it finally happened, I get so upset and feel so hurt? It's finally what I think it is and know it is. I'm finally getting what I want. But yet again... This strange feeling is rousing up in me.... I feel a sense of guilt. I feel like a burden. I feel like it was because of my self conceitedness that made you like this. Is it my fault? I feel horrible :(
Once again, hello. x. I've been blogging a lot these days, haven't I. Too many things to rant about, I guess. Today I felt a sense of love and yet a sense of sadness. My drama club people got me 15 hairbands for my birthday. I am so touched oh me god :( big thanks to Samuel, sarah, junnita, sorfina, Linette and more that I can't actually remember. And biggest and warmest hugs and loves and gratitude to my two Indians <3 : raiyini and Mounisni <3 I love them so much. God knows what I'd do without them. I cried in the canteen too because I just felt like I have not cherished them enough. Now that they're leaving... Love my drama club members max hurhur.
Au revoir, til we meet again.
Once again, hello. x. I've been blogging a lot these days, haven't I. Too many things to rant about, I guess. Today I felt a sense of love and yet a sense of sadness. My drama club people got me 15 hairbands for my birthday. I am so touched oh me god :( big thanks to Samuel, sarah, junnita, sorfina, Linette and more that I can't actually remember. And biggest and warmest hugs and loves and gratitude to my two Indians <3 : raiyini and Mounisni <3 I love them so much. God knows what I'd do without them. I cried in the canteen too because I just felt like I have not cherished them enough. Now that they're leaving... Love my drama club members max hurhur.
Au revoir, til we meet again.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Major.
Major disappointment, major disappointed. Now I doubt myself. Is it true or false. Temporary or eternal. Well, guess I'll be having that same question for the next few days. I am sincerely disgusted by everything and everyone. Goodbye.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Xx.
Today I realised that even though you have everyone around you, you can still feel like the loneliest person in the world.
What a birthday, sigh.
Happy second day of being 15, sigh.
What a birthday, sigh.
Happy second day of being 15, sigh.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Hurhur.
Speech day was today.. Major sigh. Don't even remind me about it.
Birthday's tomorrow. Interesting. Spending my last 3rd hour of being 14 blogging heh. Soooo, yah. Happy birthday to me. x.
Not much to talk about, just a little melancholic soul here now. Goodestbye. :(
Birthday's tomorrow. Interesting. Spending my last 3rd hour of being 14 blogging heh. Soooo, yah. Happy birthday to me. x.
Not much to talk about, just a little melancholic soul here now. Goodestbye. :(
Friday, April 13, 2012
xzc
The overhyped day for everyone is coming. Such an overrated event that no one can manage well and properly. Where skills are put to test- Speech day.
The day before it, which is today, is Friday the 13th. Can this day get any worst? First of all, I forgot to bring my wallet. Then, I came to a sudden realisation that I didn't have my skirt, shirt and tie for the final rehearsal for speech day. I would probably get kicked in the ass if I had not messaged practically everyone who stays near school to lend me their shirt, skirt, tie... So on and so forth. After that, I realised that my leg was bleeding. Boohoo. And it was pretty painful and a lot of blood was gushing out. Okay, maybe not gushing. But there was a lot of blood that I looked like I stained the parade square due to menstruation. When fact is, I was bleeding. Hurhur.
After that, I had CCA, which was pretty not bad, apart from the fact that it was the last CCA day with my darling seniors. Boohooooo.
During recess, I developed blisters because I ran down barefooted. It was pretty horrendous because, right after school ends - speech day rehearsal. Which wasn't too bad. Apart from the fact that I had to wear court shoes with the bloody blisters I've got from running barefooted.
It was pretty okay, apart from the fact that I made a lot of mistakes. But guess that's normal since we had gotten a new script.
THE WORST THAT HAS HAPPENED IS THE FACT THAT SPEECH DAY IS THE NEXT DAY, MY BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY AFTER THAT AND I FELL BLOODY SICK WITH HIGH FEVER. I'm feeling all so feverish and I feel faint right now. This tremendous torturous pain in my throat - someone PLEASE cut it off.
I've been sick for six weeks now, but fever just developed today. God. Should I finally make time out to bloody see a doctor?
Speech day tomorrow- wish me luck and hope I get well overnight
Birthday's the day after- probably gonna spend the day alone. No plans at all, big sigh. But it's okay. I'm seriously not looking forward to this day. Not the fact that I'm growing old, but it's the fact that its a day whether I'll know and find out who actually cares for me and whoever doesn't. But anyway, happy advanced birthday to me.
The day before it, which is today, is Friday the 13th. Can this day get any worst? First of all, I forgot to bring my wallet. Then, I came to a sudden realisation that I didn't have my skirt, shirt and tie for the final rehearsal for speech day. I would probably get kicked in the ass if I had not messaged practically everyone who stays near school to lend me their shirt, skirt, tie... So on and so forth. After that, I realised that my leg was bleeding. Boohoo. And it was pretty painful and a lot of blood was gushing out. Okay, maybe not gushing. But there was a lot of blood that I looked like I stained the parade square due to menstruation. When fact is, I was bleeding. Hurhur.
After that, I had CCA, which was pretty not bad, apart from the fact that it was the last CCA day with my darling seniors. Boohooooo.
During recess, I developed blisters because I ran down barefooted. It was pretty horrendous because, right after school ends - speech day rehearsal. Which wasn't too bad. Apart from the fact that I had to wear court shoes with the bloody blisters I've got from running barefooted.
It was pretty okay, apart from the fact that I made a lot of mistakes. But guess that's normal since we had gotten a new script.
THE WORST THAT HAS HAPPENED IS THE FACT THAT SPEECH DAY IS THE NEXT DAY, MY BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY AFTER THAT AND I FELL BLOODY SICK WITH HIGH FEVER. I'm feeling all so feverish and I feel faint right now. This tremendous torturous pain in my throat - someone PLEASE cut it off.
I've been sick for six weeks now, but fever just developed today. God. Should I finally make time out to bloody see a doctor?
Speech day tomorrow- wish me luck and hope I get well overnight
Birthday's the day after- probably gonna spend the day alone. No plans at all, big sigh. But it's okay. I'm seriously not looking forward to this day. Not the fact that I'm growing old, but it's the fact that its a day whether I'll know and find out who actually cares for me and whoever doesn't. But anyway, happy advanced birthday to me.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Disappointed.
How could I have been so ignorant? I let my guard down too fucking easily. God, if only I had trusted my senses a little earlier. If only I had not stop telling myself that I was just "thinking too much" or "over-reacting". What the fuck is wrong with me. What the fuck happened to the cautious girl I used to be. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Someone please kill me now for I am so fucking disappointed in me. my life. whatever. I can't believe I trusted anyone this fucking easily. I can't fucking believe I thought that everything is different. I never should have, and should never have done this. Fuck my life. Fuck this world. Fuck everything about it. Someone kill me right now for whatever is in me right now is so overwhelming and I can't comprehend this feeling. I don't know if disappointment is taking over me, or if it's anger and hatred. I feel like a complete fucking fool to have ever done this. Fuck this, fuck the world, fuck everything.
Today is fucking Good Friday and I told myself to control my anger for this is Holy week. This is not bloody working. I am fucking angered. I'm a fucking ignorant fool who deserves this. Fuck myself.
Marks my words. Never. Ever. Am. I. Gonna. Ever. Fucking. Trust. Anyone. Ever. Again.
Today is fucking Good Friday and I told myself to control my anger for this is Holy week. This is not bloody working. I am fucking angered. I'm a fucking ignorant fool who deserves this. Fuck myself.
Marks my words. Never. Ever. Am. I. Gonna. Ever. Fucking. Trust. Anyone. Ever. Again.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
psychotic. neurotic. therapeutic. transphobic.
Hello. Look at my make up HAHAHAHHAHA. K. I needed a new profile picture because the previous photo I had was like Samuel and all, because of a scandalous dirty little secret affair hehe. Just kidding. Then I was like, oh my god. I should do another make up kind of picture again! The same as my old grey photo with me and the black lipstick and heavy eye makeup. Hence I did this! I guess nobody understood the intentions. This one's like the left side is angelic and the right side is demonic. Idk, I tried to portray it that way but guess I obviously failed in it. Hahahaha. It's on my facebook profile picture now so yes. hi k bye.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS. :)
* sigh, when will my arms ever return to the normal tone. My arms are always black n yellow. hahahaha. bloody sunburn k nvm :( *
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