Irrelevant title goes here.

In an effort to try to keep this blog going..

8 days ago was...
dumdumdumdum!
.
.
.
TWO YEARS SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS BLOG.
*mini wooo.*

Recently, my life has really been a blur. So many queries, so many doubts. So many feelings, this has all been an emotional roller coaster and I'm proud to say I have endured yet another week. It's a Friday today and TGIF, I spent the day studying. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even close to kidding. I'm not even anywhere near to- Okay. Maybe I only did one Chemistry paper.

And then I spent the rest of my time in Coffee Bean playing my little pony. That shit is addictive. It is my third day and I have watched all the episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and my game is already at level 33! I mean, hello! Talk about being addictive. I'm not addicted. I'm committed to prove to everyone that I am determined.

DETERMINATION.. to finish this game.

Not only that, today's the 30th of November... You know what that means! It's the last day of November! Which means only a month left of my Holiday... Which I don't exactly consider it a 2 month holiday.. I mean come on, my holiday officially started on the 24th of November and yesterday I just received a text that I have to go to school on 3rd of December so boohoo. I'm guessing it'll still be all fun and nice having to meet all my friends after this long break.

Wouldn't it be nice if I had said long WINTER break? I mean come on, we really need snow around here! It's starting to make me feel like the days are warm and the nights are warmer. Honestly, Singapore should be a lot cooler. I remember how we used to complain when the temperature was 28 degrees, to hell with that! If our temperature is ever at 28 degrees, we'd be rejoicing. I wonder what the temperature was in the 80s.

On a side note,

"true happiness is a state of mind"
was my quote for today. It told me that I should stop pursuing happiness, instead, practice it. Happiness is not a result of consequences. Happiness is how you choose to look at things, your outlook in life, your positivity towards things etc. Happiness.
We are all so caught up in this modern technology world that the only way we express happiness is through the means of a bracket and a colon ( :) or (: )... and also things like [: :] {: :} But really, why do we only express happiness through means of technology? Heck, in the olden times and someone does something really great or sweet for you.. Heck you'd go all the way over to their house or wherever to meet them to say thank you or hug them or repay the kindness instead. Through the means of modern day technology, all we do is send a text like
" Tx bro. :) "
"Thx sis :) "
" Thanks babe. :) "
" Lol u r awesome thanks :)"
" :)"
COME ON WHERE'S THE SINCERITY.
Oh well.

I think I've spoken a little too much with a fair bit of variations of topics.

( If I can remember, I shall do a post a day tomorrow since it's the first day of the month and I'm sure I'd  be helluva free for that.)

Goodbye xx.

Elections? Schmelections.

What irks me is how some teenagers( Singaporeans, mainly, because I don't really notice the rest and more mainly pertaining to the females because apparently males are too dope for that.) are still creating a hullabaloo about the Presidential election for the U.S. I mean it's deemed 'socially acceptable' for you to be showing your support if you're tweeting like "Obama won #yay #4moreyears #beatthatromney #presidentialelections #america" or posting as a facebook status or whatsoever... I mean it's cool... But up til date you're still talking about it? 

I question whether you even watch the debates, to begin with. 

Some girls are saying that the world is blessed and all, finding what-they-think-is substantial evidences that they have searched on google and post everywhere saying...

"Obama promised xxxxxxx he might not have carried it out as promised but at least he tried." 

"Romney insulted big bird."

"Romney is a liar."

Then they try to bring as much relevance the Presidential election is to them.

Heck, I'm a Singaporean and the only relevance my president has with me is that he is my president. 

Honestly, I don't get why some teenagers even care about U.S. elections. I watched some debates and you don't see me spamming all over the social media about how ' xxxxxxx should die' or whatsoever. 

Ohwell. 

So there's this boy....

on the phone with me...
sleeping.



he snores like a pig.

goodnight xo.

run.

why do we keep running back to the same thing that makes us want to run away in the first place?

no matter how much I want to, I can't. I thought there'd be care or even concern. but I guess, whatever.

goodnight world. I guess I always hope for too much and the basic expectations I always think that there should be will never be met.

because I'm too damn demanding, perhaps. oh well.

help

I need help. So many things are affecting my mind to feel so negative about everything. the world. myself.
scars.
pain.

a penknife.

the knife that can trigger so much memory.
the knife that screams the pains of unhappiness.
the knife that made me feel alive.

Suddenly, I miss that knife.

breathe me. -/

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

my skin.

Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face say these promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well content loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this

Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored

Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this

demanding attention

Today, I was thinking about how girls are always complaining how in every relationship.. We're always the ones in the losing end. Some girls complain about how they're suffocating in a relationship, and saying how they hope their boyfriends would pay them a little more attention.. Or how their boyfriends do not take notice of their wants and needs.. Or even how their boyfriends do not even take notice of them.

Just like all the good ol' housewives porn... The females get a new hairdo, new clothes but their men never take notice of it. Or how their husbands/boyfriends comes home late and when the wives/girlfriends demand an explanation, they give a broad answer of
"Oh, work."
"Oh, hanging out with friends"

Then the women get angry and start to lecture about how their men seem to be more interested about work/friends than them.

I used to think all these were logical.. I mean come on, your man IS your man after all. How would us, as females, know if their fucking some other girl pregnant. Or if they've got recently closer to some hot babe and is starting to lose interest in them... The main point is, the females never want to lose the males. The females want to know exactly everything the men do, just so the females know that they're not being lied to, will not have to worry about getting cheated on and to have the peace and security.

Then I realize, that THAT is the problem with us females.

The problem with us, females, is that we tend to over assume, over think and we're just too damn demanding.. We tend to not trust as well as how we used to and as the relationship progresses, and as soon as the time we've been together is long enough, the love might die out and the females will start to jump in to conclusions for the fear that the men are cheating on us. Once the trust goes out, the loves goes out.

Then wouldn't the whole thing have started on the females being too overly attached?

Unless you're a male who gives broad answers, and you constantly lie and lie and lie, which causes your girlfriend/ wife to be insecure.

Oh well.