salvation.

Comparing myself from a year back with now, there is a vast difference between us. So very vast. The faithfulness and the great adoration for the Lord has definitely been compromised with all my different little commitments I have made over the past year. So much differences in between. When I created this blog, there was ever only one little thing in my mind. To spread about the gospel of God, or rather just to blog in a more Christian way. A forgiving, humble way. So vast, the difference between what I wanted to become, and what I have became. I used to love the Lord that much that I am willing to lay down my life for the Lord. For everything I do, is to proclaim the awesomeness and the glory of God.

What have I become? And why have I not noticed this previously? Thank God I even noticed the difference in me.

Two years back around this time, probably about mid aug to mid sept, I was depressed to the extent that I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to commit suicide. I cut myself so deep that time, I bled. No one knew. I was just so depressed. Thank God for God and his little angels whom talked to me. To have received a message about Christ loving us. And how our body is the temple of God, am I only harming myself? Aren't I harming the little emotions of my surroundings? What about the Lord? If my body belongs to Christ, wouldn't I be harming Christ? Evading and avoiding is not the right option. It is the selfish option. Whomever said that you should steer clear of trouble, never meant that you should avoid it in such a way. But I never knew. Thank God, the awesome Lord made in clear to me that night.

I devoted myself to the Lord that much at that point of time, but what exactly happened to me during the course of the past year? What has happened?

Who am I forming and shaping into? What transformation has been in me?

I always tell myself that I want to re-devote myself in to Christ. Nothing has happened. No difference in me. Did I really re-devote myself in to Christ or has that all been little empty promises to myself just to comfort myself?

You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all.

Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is your name. Help me re-devote and come back to you, Yahweh. You are worthy of all praises. Thank you for all that you have done for me, and done in me. I have countless blessings and I am not in any difficulty that I, myself can't handle, because of you. Because of all the blessings that you have given me. Lord, Jesus Christ. Thank you for the abundant blessings. For without you, I would be nothing but a worthless sinner, whom cannot do anything, whom cannot function. Thank you Lord. I pray that you will help me go back to you. Serving your ministry, and serving you faithfully. Thank you Lord. Amen.