Hiatus? on/off?

Apologies for a dead blog and here's a blogpost to "revive" it, just in case if it is still hanging on the life support.

Life.. A roller coaster.
Honestly, I don't know whats going on in my life now. Sometimes, its good. sometimes, its really bad. The good doesnt last long, neither does the bad. Neutral? Not at all. Its good bad good bad good bad. You don't even have the transition for a neutral.

I really need someone to make me have faith again. Not in God, not in myself, not in anyone. But to have faith in faith. Faith, funny thing how when i typed that, I actually gave a little laugh. It doesn't even mean anything to me now. Faith, hope? What kind of hope do I have? I don't even have time to hope for things. Currently blogging because I can't take it anymore. Slogging my ass off every single day and the least I can have is someone to help..? Who am I kidding, no one can help. Piles and piles and piles of work every single day yet.. Sigh, I'm alone, cold doing this work by myself.

Recently, I've been really nostalgic. Reminiscing the past and all. A part of me hasn't given up on you. Yet the other part tells me to move on. But I can't. Moving on is hard.

To all of you out there.. I know, stop telling me to move on. I want to. And I'm trying my best to. But somehow, I just cant let go. So what about this move on thing. I'm trying my best. I know the only obstacle between me and fully letting go is just me. I know it's not that I can't let it go. It's just myself who doesn't want to. Oh who am i to kid, I'm just contradicting myself. I'm actually stressing myself on something that doesn't even require me to be stress about. " Whether I can't let go or I don't want to." It's still the same meaning, it still means that I still do like you.

Well. I do have to let go anyway. It's just a matter of time. Whether I do it sooner or later. He has already moved on. What for stay in this? What for wait for a guy who wouldn't come back to you? False hope, empty promises. I should move on.. Life's just cruel. Always plays a joke on you. I'm just another fool in the game of life.

Forget it. How did life turn to love all of a sudden?

School. A big sigh. DISASTROUS.

Found out that I'm claustrophobic. Actually I knew, but.. I didn't know it came back. Couldn't breathe just now. Feeling restless. Air ventilation was bad, door was locked, windows were all tightly shut. Oh well. Can't be helped anyway.

Recently angry over a lot of things. Too tired to even care.

Well, I'll blog tomorrow or something, got a load off my chest. But i've got more to rant. Okbyeeeeeee.